I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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