How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
