I'm sorry my penis didn't work
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
