So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
even my farts smell like vagina
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
