I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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