Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
