Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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