so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
