i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
