you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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