I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
