I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
