chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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