You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
thus making me awesome and them whores
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
