i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
