DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
