The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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