I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
