yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
