i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
