Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
