Where is the hickey?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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