Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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