Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
