He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
