Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
