you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
