why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
