you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
