dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
