like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
