but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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