Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
