I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
