you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
