I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
