where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
