Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
