In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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