You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
