Soap is not a condiment
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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