I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
