i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you inspire me to be a worse person
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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