Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
