sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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