i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
