everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
