I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
