Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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