i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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