just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
