ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
