Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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