Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
